Today we received the news from Kinsley's MRI and Lung Scan that she underwent during X-Mas break. It has been 3 1/2 years since she has had to really do any huge check-ups and I am so blessed for that. However, the news was not great........ and not bad.........it was neutral.
I truly prayed and had high hopes that everything would be perfect and all the worries that I overcome somehow daily would fade away. I enjoy everyday life with my little angel but the thought never leaves me that something could go wrong and it is a stress that I wish would just go away.
We were told that after a panel of cardiologist looked at her scans, nothing can be done for her at this time but most likely something will have to happen in the future. Normal heart pressure for the right side of the heart is 60% and for the left side is 40%, Kinsley has 69% right side and 31% left side. Anything 30% or below on the left side will require something to be done, in her case a stent. She is 1% away, yet safe by that percent to have anything done at this time. They are neutral about the situation because if a stent is put in over time they are afraid of a rupture because her arteries are stretched so tight and compacted so close together when they had to reroute them were they needed to be. A stent inside of her artery could cause (over time) it to rub the sides so much that they are rubbed thin and could burst. Doing something is risky and not doing anything is risky....especially when you are at a 1% difference.
I am numb to the whole idea and my husband keeps reminding me that we should bless each day and not take anything for granted. Regardless we get another year until they want to do more scans and re-evaluate their decision. Sitting on it another year might mean a change in her growth, more advances and technology, and a better direction on what will be the best possible procedure for her. Sitting on it another year also leaves fear in me to be the mother I need to be. The mother that disciplines her daughter and treats her like a normal child. I need to do this, I must do this, but I pray that I have the strength to know that it was the right thing to do no-matter what happens in the future.....I just don't want to regret anything...... I hate even thinking this way but it is something I can not control.
I love Kinsley to death, she has it way worse than me and she is so happy! I keep reminded myself that there are far worse things that people suffer from daily and as the doctor on the phone said, " We take risks everyday just driving in a car". Yes, he is right.....but that is a risk I choose to take, this one is not.
I am asking for your prayers EVERY NIGHT for this next year. Pray that Kinsley's arteries grow (expand) to where nothing is needed in the future, pray that new advances will help, and pray that she along with every child that suffers from some form of disease can grow to live healthy, normal lives.
2 comments:
Nikki, we will continue to pray for your little angel's heart...but I want you to know we are also praying for yours! I can't even begin to put myself in your shoes, but I am almost certain I could not be as strong as you have and are being! God definately hand picked you for Kinsley! Thoughts, prayers and our love coming the Baker's way!
I'm so sorry to hear about the results. I can't even begin to imagine what you guys are feeling right now. Kinsley's a fighter and I think she'll come out of this just fine.
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